As a result, he moved to this small town and took a job in his local florist shop, relaxing the days away arranging flowers and trying not to think of times past. Hugh was a very smart man stricken with a series of personal tragedies earlier in his life. ![]() I once lived near a small, simple town where there lived named Hugh. ![]() It got a lot of groans, so I think it's great, if a bit long. I'm a dad, and I told my dad this, so I think it counts. Yeah turns out she was arrested for waiving a fire arm in public. I see the same old lady being handcuffed and put in the back of the squad car. So I quickly get back on the road and make my way over the hill and I spot her. So while I'm freaking out trying to pull over to the side she zooms past so fast I barely catch a glimpse of her frantically flailing her arm out the window as they all go over the hill.Īt that point couldn't believe what I was seeing it was just too crazy. And as if that's not bad enough there are two cops right behind her in hot pursuit. So now I'm a few blocks from home, driving over the last hill right before my next turn and all of a sudden, almost out of nowhere, she comes flyin past me in that same old beat up station wagon with, I shit you not, her arm CAUGHT ON FIRE. She said she was okay and thanked me for my help so I leave and head home. I gave her napkins to dry off her hands and to clean what gas was spilled on the car. So I immediately run over to see if she's okay and she smells like straight up gas. Her car, her arms, the ground, all over the place and by the time she got that thing to stop spraying there was at least a gallon of gas everywhere. I guess she had taken the nozzle out of the vehicle w out disengaging the automatic trigger or whatever but it went EVERYWHERE. Next thing I know I see this old lady holding the gas pump nozzle spewing gas everywhere. I probably could have made it home but I was really craving a Coca Cola so I decide to stop at the nearest gas station.Īnyways I'm filling my tank I see an old lady a few gas pumps away putting gas in her old beat up station wagon but didn't really think anything of it and just continued to enjoy my icey cold Coca Cola. It had been a pretty crazy day and I was ready to get home.Īs I'm driving home I notice I'm running on Empty. Shut down my computer, grabbed my keys, and I was on the road by 4:05. Okay so I get off at 4:00 and I didn't waste any time leaving the office. The enemy soldier knocks him down and responds, “TANKITY TANK TANKITY TANK!” The guy charges his unfazed adversary next and goes “STICKITY STICK STICKITY STICK!” Again he thinks the man will fall and again nothing happens. He waits for him to fall, but nothing happens. So when he sees his next foe way off in the distance, he shouts, “BANGITY BANG BANGITY BANG!” at him. This is incredible, he thinks, I’ve become unstoppable. Encouraged by his success he charges the next two enemy soldiers and goes, “STICKITY STICK STICKITY STICK!” They both immediately collapse in front of him. As soon as he sees the enemy, he shouts, “BANGITY BANG BANGITY BANG!!” Amazingly, the enemy soldier drops to the ground. Side by side with the rest of the soldiers in his unit, the guy advances on the enemy position. Dejected and wondering what the heck he signed up for, the guy jumps into the next truck on its way to the front where there’s a battle raging on. “If you need to stab someone just go, ‘STICKITY STICK STICKITY STICK!'” he says. Bummed out and little confused, the guy moves on to the next area where he’s supposed to pick up the bayonet. “If you need to shoot just say ‘BANGITY BANG BANGITY BANG!'” he says. When he gets to the place where he’s supposed to pick up his rifle the man tells him that he just ran out. " transporting mynahs across a sedate lion for immortal porpoises" Just then, a cop jumps out of the bushes and arrests him. So he steps over the sleeping lion and takes the mynahs inside. He thinks, that's a little strange, but I've got these mynahs and I've got to feed my pets. ![]() When he gets home, there's a lion sleeping on his front step. ![]() So he buys a couple mynah birds and takes them home. Really?" and the pet store guy says "yep". So he goes back to the pet store, and says "they won't eat anything I give them" and the pet store guy says "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, the only thing they will eat is mynah birds." He tries feeding them fish, shrimp, waffles, everything. He takes them home and puts them in his bathtub. He says "what's unique about that" and the pet store guy says "this one will live forever". The pet store guy shows him a porpoise in a tank. So a guy decides he wants to buy the world's most unique pet.
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